kel

expect the unexpected

Mon, 28 Dec 2009 04:49:33 GMT

Last night was crazyyy, i puked even before i started drinking!
went geylang for durians then singing session, it was that simple.
No, it didnt turned out that simple, on the way back t kris' place ard 2am+, i started feeling "high" hahaha. i puked on the cab! guess i gave kris and the driver a big shock. I felt really bad about it, but i was too weak t do anything about it. We're supposed to be drinking but i didn't even have the strength t sit up. yes, it was that bad, i wonder what was going on in my body. Maybe it was the effect after partying for 4 nights in a row, have been returning home in the afternoon, then out again. I need t stop sleeping ard 6am else i'm gonna suffer when i go back t that campus. heehee clare just blew me a flying kiss! wahaha. Kris is damn cute, she actually wrote my name on one of her toothbrush cos i've been using it quite frequently. heh she should really do that else i'l be wasting quite a number of her toothbrush. I need t thank the sweetie whom took care of me last night, for holding onto my hand while crossing the road, so afraid that i'l get knock down given that state i was in, for boiling warm water and making sure that i finished it, for coaxing me t bed and going out t buy breakfast early in the morning when i was still sleeping like a pig. I appreciate it alot :)

okay that aside, i was at the bird park yesterday, the birds are boring, they looked the same t me. As i was texting m about it, she laughed at that sentence and told jas about it. It was the joke of the day, tskk.

Stephy and i have telepathy, like seriously.
I was thinking about her while i was sitting on m's bike, then my phone rang, it was her!
Gosh, i told her i'l call her back. Meanwhile, she sent me a text saying she miss my voice. aww, she made my day.

I'l be going Malaysia for the next 2days, so i'l be back on the last day of the year.
Might be meeting my favourite laterrr for Avatar and dinner, can't wait! :) :)

xoxo' kel

you made it special

Sat, 26 Dec 2009 02:53:44 GMT

I had a memorable christmas this year, spent xmas eve with kris, jas and m. we caught a movie together in town then i had t go off t meet L. We had countdown at Boulevard, (Red Dot Museum) organised by HerStory. Saw quite a number of my friends there, the crowd and the music was good! L and i spent almost $200 on drinks, how amazing. Tried bacardi 151 for the first time, it's a high proof (75.5% alc/volume), i'm surprised i didn't get wasted. Then it was christmas, Martell, Baileys, Chivas Regal and Vodka accompanied kris, m and myself! We had 6 bottles of mixers, 5kg of ice, plenty of snacks and chocolates. With that, i believe we could actually hold a house party haha. Kris suggested that we'l have more t come, whoots. Kris' house would be turned upside down by us heh. I found out three secrets in two days, it was really unbelievable. Did something which i thought i'd never do and tried something again after so many years. Others might judge me but hey, honestly i don't give a fuck about it. I've got 10 days t spare and i'm gonna party hard while i can. No doubt i'l have t face the consequences, my stamina would drop like shit and my last IPPT is coming up in Jan.I'd remind myself everyday that i've law exam coming up in less than two weeks time but i'm not making an effort tskk! First of all, i need my sleep.. gosh. I only had three hours of sleep. At the rate that i'm going, i'm not doing any good t my nasty flu and cough. oh yes vanny, fuck i miss you, alot. i'l drop you a text soon i promise :)

Happy Boxing Day pretty

Is the dream afraid of waking?

Tue, 22 Dec 2009 13:52:02 GMT

time is not on my side, i've been too caught up with positive thoughts that i missed out the negative sides. Shit happens, im never gonna plan things ahead anymore, i can't cope with the diasppointment. i dont even deserve a phone call, is this a surprise for me? If so, it'd be the best christmas gift. pdt exam is on christmas eve, how nice. First week of jan, it'd be my sbt and law exam, i need to set aside some time for my studies. Buck up kel!

its time to wake up.

split second

Sun, 20 Dec 2009 04:42:21 GMT

you make it seem so casual, i hate it.

last goodbye

Sun, 29 Nov 2009 15:44:51 GMT

i've been trying t convince myself, t believe, t hope and t love. I've failed and it's time t stop dreaming and wake up. perhaps i've been too naive, stop being silly kels. i will stop believing, stop hoping and ..

Goodnight all-

losing it

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 11:03:14 GMT

what happens when there is no love?
you don't feel loved, it's that simple, isn't it?

it's simply a yes, or a no.
black, or white. no complication, no gray in between.

I feel like i'm at the backstage, watching you, looking at her.
my spine feels weak, i can't hold on anymore.

there's no miracle, i can't have false hope, not anymore.
maybe i should take a step back, back t where i belonged.
I don't belong t the stage, maybe just the backstage.

close to you

Sun, 27 Sep 2009 16:38:50 GMT

Our expectations colour our perceptions, sometimes we see or hear what we expect to see or hear, rather than what is actually out there.

1) i missed you
2) i miss you
3) i'll miss you

take a peek

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 11:24:59 GMT

How smart can i get, i went for medical check up without bringing my spects?! to think that i actually made an effort t make a new spects, and then i forgot abt it, so smart kels! now i'm worried that i might not get thru because of my poor eyesight, how contradicting. i don't know what i want anymore, i'm so fed up with everything. urgh.

I feel like i just came back from a roller coaster ride, fast and furious. the same goes for my mood, i hasn't been myself lately. i get frustrated easily and i am starting t hate myself, i think i need some happy pills.

I feel like rubbing my face, on your face.

dream came true

Fri, 04 Sep 2009 07:35:06 GMT

I ought t feel happy and excited, but when i heard the news, i was stunned. I wasn't a bit happy, i think it's happening too fast. I'm not ready for it, i'm not ready t commit, not just yet. I thought about breaking the news t you, but i supposed you were sleeping. I called stephy but she was sleeping too. I thought about calling you, but i don't know where t start. I realised i wasn't mentally prepared for it. I needed somebody, but nobody was there for me. I feel scared, for the very first time after so long. I'm afraid of distance, i don't know how am i gonna cope with it. Medical check up on mon, we'l see how it goes then.

Truth Vs Perception

Wed, 26 Aug 2009 11:10:42 GMT

what you see is not what you get.
i highly doubt so.
i feel weak, i can't find the strength that ain't coming.

i'm nothing.

back at one

Sun, 23 Aug 2009 13:21:01 GMT

y'know, i don't quite know how t express myself in different ways.
i used t think that if you're nice t somebody, they will be nice t you, too.
i guess i'm wrong.

i hate t admit this; but i really miss you.
i need you t be here with me, right now.

~~****~~says:

ni zhi dao wo shi hen ai ni de hahahahahahhahaha

that's the only comforting sentence for today.

strip it

Thu, 20 Aug 2009 14:49:21 GMT

it's not fun girl, not fun at all.
you've got t pick up the pieces all by yourself.

"One fine day, you'l reach a point where love doesn't matter anymore."
well said silly.

i miss you already.

A friend is someone who will stand by you in a pinch.

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 07:53:37 GMT

met up with L yesterday, we spent 12hrs together. yeah it's quite surprising.
i realised we've a lot in common, like the way we feel about certain issues, the state we're in.. etc.
Jolynn came t join us for dinner and so we had our fill at suki sushi.
after dinner, we cabbed down t J's place for some drinks.
we had baileys OTR and with milk, instead of getting high and wasted, we got one whole tank of milk in our stomach! it's nice chilling out once in awhile, especially with people whom you can click with.

i think i've yet t come t term with certain things,
it all boils down t square one, isn't it girl?
the same old problems over and over again, i'm really sick of it.
screw all those empty promises, it's useless saying it but not keeping your words.
maybe i can trust my friends more than i can trust you, isn't that quite sad?
if your heart's not with me, don't mess with mine.
i do appreciate you coming down, but i'd appreciate it more if you were t stop doing things intentionally.
if you can't be bothered about my feelings, spare a thought for our relationship.

I..

Tue, 11 Aug 2009 08:21:49 GMT

I'l be going over to changi in a few hours time, it's sheryl's birthday!
i feel happy because hun will be gg with me (: (:
i have the urge of eating durian every now and then, D24 please.
i feel like we're becoming more and more like strangers.
i think i need t sort things out with you you and you.
i just ate coco crunch.
i've got a feeling that it's gonna be awkward.
i need t run, t work those useless fattss.
i have a very bad habit, i can't sleep before 12am :(
i wish i can just slap myself and give up my pride at times.
i'm beginning t find more flaws in myself.
i want t buy crayons, i can use it for drawing or coloring.
i don't want t create a barrier but my actions tells otherwise.
i wish i can just say hi.

it's gonna get better

Mon, 10 Aug 2009 07:08:34 GMT

yesterday was a bad day for me, i had a fight with my bro.
my mom is bias to the core! urgh.
why do i have such a bro?

today will be a better day for me, i'm going t eat till i drop!
sakae with hun (:

thinking about what could have been

Thu, 06 Aug 2009 12:00:57 GMT

I wish i can dig a hole, hide there for as long as i deem fit.
yeah, i do hibernate.
i think i'm pretty weird, no matter how much i want to see that person, i'd prefer to stay away.
perhaps hibernating is my only consolation during troubles.
-shrug

how saddening.

it's boiling

Sun, 02 Aug 2009 05:14:56 GMT

not just a mild stir, but a full leap.

just keep trying, no harm?

me and myself

Sun, 21 Jun 2009 10:34:05 GMT

why so serious?
i know that i've the reputation of being aloof to others, and yes i do admit that i'm not really a gregarious person but it doesn't really matter. Iamwhoiwannabe.

so,to those who thinks that i've changed, it's not because i've really changed.
it's simply because you don't know me well enough.

there's something about me which you need to know, i'm always cranky when i'm hungry.
so don't blame me when i'm seen as unreasonable in opinions,just offer me some food or chocolates and i'l be fine :)

it's hard to be my friend, whatsmore my girlf?
so hun, thank you for accepting me for who i am.
I love you.

dream on

Sat, 06 Jun 2009 05:50:55 GMT

dreams are not reality, wake up.

body oh body

Sun, 24 May 2009 05:15:39 GMT

my body is aching damn badly, my stamina is gone.
i wonder how am i gonna survive as a C?
oh well. ENL has started and we lost our first game, tragic!
train hard kels!

you put a smile on my face

Sun, 03 May 2009 09:48:37 GMT

i've been pretty caught up with my own stuff, didn't have the chance to visit LJ.
planning a birthday party is never easy, whatsmore a 21st birthday party?
yes i've been looking forward to friday, but somehow something's putting a frown on my face.
there was a point of time when i just feel like giving up, calling off the party etc..

with hun's helping hand, i managed to pull through with all those dsgahneughuiaejb.
not forgetting stephy, she has been constantly calling me to check if there's anything she can do for me.

so thank you for everything, much appreciated! :)

Sun, 12 Apr 2009 11:01:29 GMT

there is no price tag for love

look what you've done

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 10:18:49 GMT

sometimes i wonder..
* am i a fool?
*do i deserve it?

is it a good or bad thing that i found out everything by myself?
i hate the idea of that. seriously, what else is there for me to discover?
i wish i can find out everything at once, it's frustrating enough.

now i see..

i've been a fool.

shithead

Fri, 27 Mar 2009 15:27:51 GMT

my bloody tooth is out to kill me, apparently it's swollen!!
today is a bad day for me..
let's see.
-quarrelled with my mommy before i went out.
-got taken for granted.
-makes me feel like i'm invisible.
-sometimes i wonder..
-bobby went missing for a few minutes.

how can so many things happened in one day?
i can't take anymore nonsense.

enuff said.

ouch

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 13:06:26 GMT

I'm currently having a bad toothache, i can't eat nor drink properly and this sucks.
I kind of suspect that it's wisdom tooth but i don't wish to consult the dentist.
don't really like the idea of extracting something out.

I miss hun, i hope she'l get well soon! i'l be able to see her tmr! :) :)